I am a superhero.
There’s a movie coming out based on my life. The hero is this tall, handsome,
super ripped dude who can always pick the longest line in grocery stores.
The movie will focus on how awful he feels every time he shops. How could he ever
be worth anything to anyone?
And then one day he stops a robbery by accidentally forming a long queue at a
store exit. With this life-altering experience under his belt, he realizes he is
already more than enough. He can be happy.
He is found by a mentoring father-figure with an eye patch over one eye who
helps him control his power and guides him to fulfill his ultimate purpose:
that of a TSA agent.
I fully expect the movie to create long lines at movie theaters across the globe.