By posting this item I run the risk of a local swing dancer reading this, laughing at me, and then telling everyone else. Oh well.

After becoming single again, I decided it was time I started to get to know more girls. One thing about me though: outside of dances and other social events where meeting people is expected, I am terrible at walking up to a girl and introducing myself… let alone ask for her phone number. So I came up with a plan. Well, my plan still only works at dances, but it works! Someday I’ll have enough guts to get a phone number outside of dances. :-P Not that it matters a whole lot since I dance at least 3 days a week.

Looking back on my life starting at age 14 or 15 I don't know how I managed it. What do I mean? Well, 99% of all my friends are and always have been girls. If I stink at getting girls numbers, how did I manage to get some many female friends? I think it was mostly all through other friends. It started with one girl who introduced me to more, and they introduced me to more, etc. I have a few good guy friends, and many acquaintances who are guys, but the friends that I actually hang out with are 99% female. Why? Well, I prefer girls. Hanging out in big groups of guys does absolutely nothing for me. I honestly don't understand how those big groups of guys form. How do they get dates? All they do is smack each other in sensitive places and crack perverted jokes. So when faced with the choice of hitting guys in sensitive places while they're trying to hit me or fliriting with girls, I choose the girls. Is anyone surprised by this? Why haven't more guys figured this out? I think the world would be a happier place if this happened. Then again, it'd be harder to get girl friends if that happened. Guys, keep smacking each other.

Anyway… I needed a good way to get girl’s phone numbers. I was talking with my mom one day and she mentioned something about dance cards. I guess many many many many years ago (1800’s and earlier?) women used to carry dance cards that the men would fill out. The idea was kinda like reserving the lady for, say, the waltz. So if a ladies’ dance card got filled up before you got to her, no matter how early in the dance, you were out of luck. You wouldn’t be able to dance with her. At least I think that’s how they worked. Anyway, so I had a great spark of genius. I’d make my own dance cards! They say “Ryan’s Dance Card” on them, followed by several lines for the girl’s name, phone number, e-mail address, and the question “wanna dance again?” After I dance with a girl, I’ll tell her about how old dance cards used to be and that I decided to re-invent them, only different. In more words than that, but you get the idea. So far the girl’s seem to think it’s pretty funny and they fill it out for me. I haven’t been turned down yet. What’s even funnier is that I haven’t even been turned down by married women! That’s right! Not engaged, but married! Now, I had NO idea this girl was married until she started to fill the card out and I noticed the ring on her finger and then later heard her say something about her husband to someone else. I always try to check to see if the girl has a ring before I ask them to fill out the card out, but I forgot this time. Oh heck did I feel stupid! I’m just lucky that the dance cards come across as very innocent and funny. I don’t think she realized the intent behind my dance cards. I can only imagine the rejection I would have gotten! :-D Some of you may be thinking “She’s probably just being unfaithful to her husband if she was dancing with you anyway. Where was her husband?” That’s the funny thing among the hard-core swing dancers. It’s for the love of the dance that they dance… even when married. They’re not being unfaithful. I understand some people feel differently about this, but that’s how most of the hard-core swing dancers are.

Now, please don’t think I’m endorsing my “dance cards” for a good way to be unfaithful or to make someone else be unfaithful to their spouse. That’s sick and wrong. I just thought my dance card experience was funny. I was saved from an embarassing situation by my own goofiness.