Ryan Martinsen

I made a realization today.

The realization isn’t surprising, shocking, revelatory, or an epiphany. If anything it’s controversial. It’s simply this: cheating makes life easier.

But only under the following conditions:

1. There are no negative consequences in cheating
2. All rules are made up or self-inflicted
3. No one will ever know
4. No one would even care if they knew
5. Nothing is really at stake (rewards, money, integrity, eternal salvation…). This is about cheating when cheating isn’t really cheating.

For example, I admitted in my last post that I was going to attempt posting every day this month, as I did the previous two years. I also admitted to cheating a little the last two years. The cheating didn’t matter at all. I’m pretty sure I never back-dated anything more than an hour or two. All it did was maintain a status in my head that kept me posting every day.

I didn’t cheat this year. And the result? I’ve missed three days. Had I just cheated the first day I missed I would have felt an obligation to keep posting. Now? Not so much.

So, if you’re on a diet with rules you made up and you screw up and eat donuts all day, cheat and pretend you didn’t mess up. You’ll feel much better the next day and less likely to spend another day eating donuts. You haven’t failed simply because you violated a rule you made up.

Of course, it does no good to cheat every day. “I posted every day!” is a complete lie and is in no way excusable when you wrote 30 posts on the last day of the month and back-dated them all. You may as well write thousands of posts and claim you’ve been blogging since 1980. No one will believe you (especially if you were born after 1980).

What do you think? Am I going to be strapped to a waterboard with sinister* demons pouring water on my head for all eternity? Do you cheat?

* First time I’ve ever used ’sinister’ in a blog post.

I wasn’t going to mention it–and it’s a good thing I didn’t as expectations would have been shattered–but now that I’ve screwed it up I can confess to attempting to post every day this month. I did it in November 2007 and 2008 though I’m pretty sure I cheated a few times and posted a day late and changed the post time. I decided not to do that this time. I’ll just post twice a few days this month to make up for it.

The culprit for missing Saturday?

I know, right? It was pretty awesome.

Yes, I was belaying when I took the photo.

Don’t worry, the guy was on a fat ledge and I told him to wait a second while I took the picture.

He’s still alive.

I’m at a pent house party. It’s awesome. 47th floor (well, the roof) of a building near Wall Street.

That is all.

No idea if this photo is any good…

I’ve heard a lot of strange things on the subway. This morning was something new though. A short lady with reddish-brown hair, I’d guess between age 50 and 60, apparently wasn’t able to get on the train as fast as she’d have liked. She voiced her opinion of the man–the cause of the delay–for all to hear (I missed part of it due to my in-ear headphones): “… and you’re on your phone texting! We all deserve to walk on the train when we want to!”

I guess she didn’t realize I deserve to stand quietly on the train without anyone else saying anything. Oh wait, that’s just as absurd.

She rattled on for some time, but I stopped paying attention so I could write down what I’d heard her say. The man said something I couldn’t hear. The woman in front of me, whose face was about 18 inches from mine (it’s only awkward if you look at each other), shook her head in amazement.

Over 5 million people ride the subway on an average weekday.

This lady probably lives here in the city. I do not doubt she is a smart, rational human being. I do not know what happened to her this morning. Maybe she nearly got hit by a bus. Maybe the man really was rude. I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s completely absurd to claim any sort of entitlement concerning when you get to walk on a semi-crowded train.

The subway can be a pretty stressful place, especially during the morning rush hour. It’s not uncommon to see someone squeeze in a crowded train, making other people more uncomfortable (unless you like playing sardines with strangers!), and then look all put out when someone else does the same thing behind them.

I have nothing against the lady on the train this morning. I know nothing of her other than that she has moments of weakness just like the rest of us do. We’ve all done and said things we’ve regretted. What bothered me this morning was not her, but the sense of entitlement she expressed–a sense of entitlement you, as I, have experienced from time to time.

The majority of the people you meet are smart, rational people. You are a smart, rational person. I, too, like to think I am smart and rational. So why does this happen to smart, rational people? Why does this happen to you? Are there things we can do to guard against this sort of thing? I’m interested in what you have to say.

What helps me stay rational in stressful moments (though I often fail) is to consciously remember that everyone around me is, in fact, a living, breathing person. It works even better when I take it a step further and remember that everyone around me is a son or daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves them.

If, however, you’re feeling particularly upset and have no desire to feel happy feelings about anyone I suggest you think of everyone else as vampires. Look each person in the eye and tell them they’re a vampire. Then, if you’re on a train, get off at the next stop so you can feel stupid all by yourself. After you’ve felt stupid for a few minutes walk up to a stranger and tell them they look nice today.

Westville in New York City is a superb place to eat. If I were to only recommend one item on their menu I’d tell you to get an order of sweet potato fries, but then I’d also recommend their cobbler, thereby violating my made up rule to only recommend one thing. So I won’t only recommend one thing.

The mixed berry cobbler with which I finished off my meal:

Their burgers are pretty good. They were out of black bean chipotle soup so I enjoyed some turkey chili in its place. I was envious of the salmon my friend got. Oh, and the staff were friendly, too.

In summary, the food here will nourish and strengthen your body and do it the good that it needs (though perhaps not the cobbler).

To cast aside regret and fear. To do the deed at hand. Every man that can ride should be sent west at once [...] we must first destroy the threat … while we have time. If we fail, we fall. If we succeed–then we face the next task.
– Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, chapter 6

I am tall, skinny, and wimpy. I’m not as wimpy as some, but still pretty wimpy. I think it’s time to change this fact.

Public declarations are rarely a good idea and I certainly don’t intend to announce any new 30-day plans or anything of the sort in some lame attempt to become a manly hunk of muscle; rather, I’m just saying it’s time for this state of wimpiness to change.

The ultimate wimp is he who can admit to his wimpitude and do nothing about it, even though he’d like to.

No, really. I am bringing this up for a reason. I don’t like going to gyms to work out. I don’t like doing push ups just so I can do more push ups.

The best kind of workout is the one that doesn’t feel like a workout.

Rock climbing is a good example. It’s a great workout, but to me doesn’t feel like one while actually rock climbing. Dancing is the same way for me. It can be great exercise, but to me it doesn’t feel like it. I suppose others feel the same way about running, doing push ups, and working out in a gym.

So I don’t want to get a gym membership, do push ups every day, or go running every morning. I do, however, want to improve my physical health in a meaningful way while also having a good time.

The problem with rock climbing is finding a good place to go and people to go with often enough. Also, winter is coming on and winter has a tendency to be cold outside. Climbing gyms in NYC are expensive and really not that great anyway (from what I’ve been able to discover online).

Do you know of any other fun hobbies that also happen to be a good workout? I do like swimming. Basketball can be fun. What else?

Highlights of my weekend in Boston in no particular order:

• Great fall weather.
• Rockin Halloween dance.
• Attending the Boston stake conference Friday night in the Trinity Church.
• Hearing Elder Ballard speak Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in the stake conference and YSA (young single adult) education conference.
• The other two speakers at the education conference: David Neeleman (founder of JetBlue) and Clay Christensen (Harvard professor).
• Out host, Natalie, was awesome. She drove us all over and made a delicious cheese ball, Mickey Mouse pancakes and some other food with meat in it. It was good.

I could live in Boston.