Yes, that a lie. I figured it’d been too long since I’d started out a post with a lie.

The truth is, I usually answer the question saying, “I’m a programmer.”

Not anymore though! I read a nifty article today and I’ve decided to change how I respond to this question.

Isn’t it pathetic? We live in a world where people don’t care about the things that you do — the things that interest you. Correction: They care more about how you make money, first and foremost. All the time — parents, friends, family, new people — they all want to know “what do you do?” But it reality, they are asking “how do you make money — what’s your job?”
- David Askaripour

From now on, when someone asks me what I do I’m going to say “I dance, fly fish, read, write, geek out, eat food, think, hike, and pretend to punch people in the face!” As I say that last part I’ll pretend to punch them in the face. People will think it’s hilarious.

Have you heard of DailyLit? It’s so incredibly awesome. I discovered it a week ago? Two weeks ago? I don’t remember, but I am loving it. Basically, you can read a book in your email or in an RSS feed. The idea is that people don’t want to take the time, or don’t have the time to sit down and read a book so you can have them send you pieces of the book everyday, or weekdays, or whatever! I signed up to get emails every weekday of the books A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. It’s got to be one of the coolest ways to read a book. I often don’t feel like I can justify picking up a book and reading it, but reading a short email is easily justifiable. Each e-mail contains a link to have the next part of the book sent to you immediately, which I took advantage of a great deal tonight while reading both books. Anyway…

Yesterday and today I’ve been occupied with updating this website, along with Learn4Liberty. I haven’t done much aesthetically; I’ve mostly been cleaning up crap, finding and installing wordpress plugins, getting distracted with reading a bunch of stuff I found off of reddit, coming up with ideas for websites, etc.

In the process of doing all this updating I realized that I didn’t have an about page for this site. I was linking to the about page on ryanware.com, but that’s not all that helpful if you, say, actually wanted to learn something about me as an individual. So I started writing about myself, which I’ve never really enjoyed.

From my About Me page:

I’m really good at sleeping in. I have been known, at least twice a week, to push snooze on my alarm clock for anywhere from 1-5 hours. If sleeping in was a lucrative profession, I would be the Bill Gates of it. I wrote a little alarm program for my computer, which I use to blast music from my speakers at the time I desire to wake up. My sister, who also loves to sleep in, told me “that’s the loudest alarm I have ever heard.” The alarm does remarkably well at getting me out of bed. In fact, the speed with which I usually jump out of bed is akin to that of a butterfly attached to a bowling ball dropped from an airplane. What’s even more remarkable is that I turn the alarms off (after typing in 1-2 passwords) only to get back in bed. I am improving though! Really! It goes in cycles, but I am improving.

So a few weeks ago I was doing really good at waking up. I was a waking up early machine. I set my alarm and BAM I was out of bed and I stayed out of bed! It was great. And then I started staying up really late working on a deadline. Then I went on a dancing adventure to Denver. And then to Seattle. And now I’m back to sleeping in really late and staying up really late. Case in point: it’s now 3 AM as I write this.

So where does the “oh crap!” moment come in? So while I was writing that section about sleeping in I realized that tomorrow (err… today) is Thursday. And on Thursdays I wake up at 5:30 AM to attend a weekly Toastmasters club meeting. I’m not even tired yet! Okay, maybe I’m a little tired, but I certainly will be very tired by the time 5:30 rolls around. Especially if I don’t sleep, and even more especially if I do sleep. crap.

So of course I had to write about it, instead of going to bed when I realized that I was going to wake up so early.

But seriously, check out DailyLit. I’m addicted and loving it.

20. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: no, I firmly believe it’s a book holding all the secrets to the female mind… which is why no one will ever find the end of rainbow….. no one knows all those secrets so they could have never been written down…. so the end of rainbow doesn’t exactly exist because the book doesn’t so if there is no end to the rainbow then it either has to be a circle or it doesn’t exist…. and we all know they exist…. or do we? I need to go to bed.
(What’s funny is that I still need to go to bed)

35. Do you feel understood most of the time: most of the time is a lot of the time, thus requiring me to say somewhat understandable sentences…. which I’m not sure possible if that is. speak like Yoda I try!
(in other words, not often)

12. What store would you never be caught dead in: Victoria Secret (so far haven’t been caught)
(I might mention I’ve never even been in one. Well, maybe the one in downtown SLC. It’s… or at least used to be split into two sections. one for lotion and stuff and the other for kumquats.)

39. Could you be a vegetarian: Sure I could, however… I could also be a woman….. both would be about as fun… *barfs everywhere*
(please note that these are my personal opinions)

42. What are you worried about right now: several things…. like, for example…. what on earth am I doing up at 3:40 AM when I’m going water skiing in the morning? Which shoes will look best with my outfit? I just can’t decide… maybe I should repaint my nails to match too!? Emma or Sense and Sensibility? Vegetarian or becoming a woman? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….
(Well it’s only 2:20 AM now, almost 5 years later, and those are still rather perplexing subjects ;))

11) Fav. radio station: 127.0.0.1 if you can figure that out you know too much already, go home (haha!).
(remember, all you computer savvy people out there that this was a survey sent to those less savvy. It’s unfortunate most people probably just thought “oh star 102.7 FM”, a local station here. If they only knew.)

22) Brandy or Monica?: Who?

(Note: I’m including the following for the pure enjoyment of confusing the heck out of everyone, including myself.)
When eating frozen yogurt (hearafter known as PRODUCT) with a spoon (hereafter known only as SPOON) should one (END-USER) scoop the PRODUCT with the SPOON and then put the SPOON into the END-USER’s mouth (POINT OF NO RETURN) right side up or upside down: I’ve often been known to believe that any END-USER eating PRODUCT with a SPOON should insert the PRODUCT on the SPOON into the POINT OF NO RETURN with the SPOON and PRODUCT both in a to the side rotation of 180 degrees Fahrenheit, I think. The Fahrenheit part may be wrong. It must be Celsius. (upside down) Yeah, so anyway. By doing this the POINT OF NO RETURN belonging to the END-USER recieves the PRODUCT onto it’s taste receptors as quickly as possible. Studies by lots of professionals with titles such as “Really Smart”, “Employee”, and “Computer Geek” (sometimes all three) have shown that the POINT OF NO RETURN is often displeased or even angry at the taste of a metal or plastic SPOON as the case may or may not be. The POINT OF NO RETURN expects food or a product that is digestible, not a SPOON. You’d think the POINT OF NO RETURN would have picked up on it by now. The SPOON delivers the PRODUCT and should not be displeased if it gets a SPOON before PRODUCT. So until the POINT OF NO RETURN learns better I would say that the SPOON with the PRODUCT should be upside down upon entering that realm of darkness and destruction (hey, it sounds scary, but is necessary for the digestion of most products) so that the END-USER can enjoy the PRODUCT as much as possible.
DISCLAIMER: I take no responsibilty for anything caused directly or indirectly. Err… what I mean is… the above line “any END-USER eating PRODUCT with a SPOON should” sounds like it may or may not be referring to a product that eats end-users with a spoon. That is NOT what I meant to imply and I hereby claim with this disclaimer that disclaims any claims you may have against my claim that I will take no responsibility for any confusion, cold fusion, or just plain fusion caused by my directly typing an indirect insult upon any end-user eating product (an end-user that is eating a product). I think.
(the “point of no return” in this is in no way related to the point of no return referred to in the Phantom of the Opera)

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? my pillow is an animal! rrrroowwwllll!!! (note: i am not kidding! doh! i mean I AM kidding)
(no comment)

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE? … am i supposed to finish the question or something? It’s incomplete. Flawed. If i could meet one person dead or alive… what? who would it be? what would I do? would I eat a banana infront of them? what? I would want to meet the person who wrote this dumb thing and say what i said in the previous question… or maybe just ask them if they want a banana or a kumquat, but not both because that would be spoiling them and would leave me without a kumquat (because who in their right mind would choose the kumquat?).
(In the actual survey I pulled this from the answer to the previous question was not “rrrroowwwllll!!!”. Also, I guess my obsession with kumquats is not a new thing. Looks like I’ve had it for at least 4 years. I really should go buy one. Or two.)

Well that was fun. Maybe I’ll do it again sometime. I’ve filled out a lot of surveys over the years (heck, send me another and I’ll post my answers on here!) The bulk of the old surveys are rather stupid, so I’ll just post the most interesting bits. If you don’t think these bits were very interesting or funny, well… uh, <insert witty comment>.

Name:

Ryan Martinsen

Birthday:

March 12, 1982

How tall are you?

4′28″ 1/2

Where are your ancestors from?

Norway, England, Wales… to name a few.

What are your hobbies?

Swing dancing, Fly fishing, Camping, Hatred of olives, Swing dancing, Swing dancing, Lindy hop (the type of swing dancing I prefer) , Savoy style (the type of lindy hop swing dancing that I perfer) , Hollywood is fun too (another type of lindy hop swing dancing) , Blogs , Writing weird humor articles , SEO (Search Engine Optimization… not SouthEastern Ohio), Firefox, Most things computer related, and the list goes on… (ie. swing dancing) .

Firefox is a hobby? Isn’t Firefox a web browser?

Yeah yeah… so it’s more of an obsession than a hobby. Same goes for hating olives.

Where do you live?

Have I told you how much I love brownies? Oh and chocolate cake? Pastel de tres leches tambien me hace salivar. Having said that my address is… oh wait. They’d probably be bad by the time they arrive in the mail. Nevermind. I live in Utah.

Favorite food:

It changes daily. For example, on Tuesday it’s 3 for a dollar hard shell tacos at Del Taco! Other days it’s hawaiian pizza, lasagna, ice cream, and tortilla chips with melted cheese. Other days (yes the previous foods were for ONE day) ;), it’s that really good orange chicken stuff from Panda Express. I love so many different kinds of food. I really like Mexican, Italian, Chinese, and Peruvian food.

Favorite sport:

I don’t really care to watch sports unless it’s a local college football team, but even then it’s rare. I like to play basketball more than any other sport.

Favorite music:

Jazz! Basically anything you can swing dance to.

Favorite cars:

I’m not much of a car guy. You see, I don’t fit comfortably in small cars. Of course there are the mid-sized or large cars or whatever, but I still feel they’re all “small” even though some probably have as much or more leg room as some SUVs. Jeeps are nice.

Favorite movies:

Napoleon Dynamite, Star Wars (all), Princess Bride, Spider Man I and II, and some others I can’t remember (I must really like them if I can’t remember what they are!) If I ever think about it, I’ll update this when I know what they are. :-D

Favorite season:

Winter for skiing, spring for newness of life, summer for hiking, camping and fishing, and fall for the pleasant weather and changing leaves.

Favorite holiday:

Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. Valentine’s day is good if you have a girl to spoil.

If you weren’t a progammer, what would do for a living?

echo("That's a question that has confused me");
for ($i=0; $i< $really_large_number; $i++)
{
   if ($i == 0) echo('a ');
   echo('really ');
}
echo('long time.');

How did you get into programming?

Short answer: 1996 by a game called Chip’s Challenge.

Long answer: I wish I would have written all of this down as it all happened so I’d know all the actual dates. Dates are approximate. I’m pretty sure about the years, but not the months.

Before I discovered the internet computers were mostly boring to me. Wait, without the internet they still are! :) My first introduction to the internet was on a 1200 baud modem using AOL 2.0 or maybe it was 3.0. It didn’t take long to move on to better things (partially because of the huge bills I was running up on AOL). I was soon crusing with a 14.4 modem using Netscape on Windows 95 instead of Win 3.11. In 1996 at the ripe old age of 14 I got addicted to a game that I believe came with Windows: Chip’s Challenge. I got really far and had lots of codes to advance to the higher levels. I decided I should make a really cool website that had all the codes on it. All of the big games had sites like that, why not one for Chip’s Challenge? :-P So I found some how-to sites and started learning HTML. My first site was hosted with Netcom, our ISP at the time. Netcom was aquired by Earthlink I believe. I don’t think I ever actually posted any of the Chip’s Challenge codes on the site. I got too excited learning how to do other stuff. I remember when I learned how to make tables. What an exciting day that was! Seriously, I remember showing my family members how cool it was. I don’t remember their reactions, but I’m sure they said some really nice things like “gee wiz, that’s swell.”

About the same time, I got interested in windows programming and focused on that instead of web development. I found a trial version of VB 5.0 online and enjoyed it to a great extent. For Christmas of 1997 my parents got me Visual Basic 5.0 Professional Edition. In early 1998 I started a small website to give away freeware I had written. In 1999 I realized a couple of my applications could be sold. So I started selling Close Popup, Mr. Internet, and shortly after Mouse Trap. I also worked with friends who started an internet development company.

And so the story continues today. As Nick Bradbury put it, it’s the “Aha!” moments that happen every so often with new technologies or whatever that got me excited about this stuff, and continue to keep me excited from day to day.

So anyway, that’s all for now. If you have any questions about me, feel free to ask! I’ll answer just about anything you throw at me as long as it’s clean and not too personal. Just post a comment on here or drop me an e-mail.

I have quite a few of these things that I’ve filled out in the past. So I’ll be posting one periodically.

I’ve modified this a tiny bit so that those of you who don’t know me won’t gawk in horror at some of my responses which my friends know are completely 100% fake. I’m sure I missed some though. So if you read something that makes you think “oh my gosh, is he really like that?” it’s probably not true. Feel more than free to ask me. :)

On with the the survey…

June 5, 2001

Okay I’m going to say what Chelsea said: Alright, I’m not going to apologize for sending this out by saying that i’m bored, i think it’s just plain amusing. Send it back, not because i don’t already know all of this information, but because i want to see what kind of amusing comments you can come up with.

Name: It’s times like these that I have to sit back and wonder. Wonder why anyone would ask a question like this when they already know my name? The people who know my name won’t get this survey so why bother? Heck, even if someone who doesn’t know me gets this (it’s always possible I guess) would see my name on the e-mail itself before they clicked it. sheesh.

Have you ever: needed someone so bad?

1. Been Kissed: it happens in my dreams… but not in those dreams with the horses pooping (i’m serious… there was one dream like that once. very very scary)
2. Done drugs: i act like it, but I can’t figure out where they are coming from
3. Eaten an entire box of oreos: it’s not a box. it’s a package. a whole box would be insane. there are lots of packages in the boxes that the stores get. so no. duh. not to mention oreos get stuck in your teeth like no other cookie on earth.
4. Eaten sushi: i don’t eat fish that have the texture of apple sauce (note: if sushi doesn’t have that texture… it just goes to show how much I know about sushi)
5. Been on stage: i’ve been on a stage, but not "on stage" in the sense that i was performing infront of a live (they were all dead) audience. elementary school does not apply.
6. Been dumped: i remember when i was a new scout the older guys tried to stuff me in a garbage can. didn’t work. i’ve always been to lurpie.
7. Has someone been unfaithful to you: I’m sure that most, if not all, of my crushes have been unfaithful in some way. haha
8. Gotten in a car accident: me? heck no. *avoiding eye contact*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Either/Or

9. Cold or hot: hot french fries, sun, women. cold ice cream, ice, snow, drinking water, women so i can warm them up haha, but not cold in the "cold shoulder" sense… that’s no fun.
10. Blue or Red: blue eyes look better than red eyes.
11. Rain or snow: "rain smeels good", snow is fun to throw at people… i’ve noticed that throwing rain at people just doesn’t quite have the same effect…
12. Give or receive: give kisses, receive computers… i mean kisses. some things are just better if it’s reciprocal
13. Rose or daisy: i would have to go with roses, but not for myself… if i was to choose one for myself I’d probably pick um… a rose and then give it to a girl even if it was for me in the first place
14. Go to a Private school or Public School: did it ever occur to the writer of this survey that some people don’t go to school at all? you are always learning therefore life is a school. life is public and private.
15. Chocolate milk or plain milk: sometimes you just can’t make a decision based on a question as simple as "either/or". it gets too complicated. you have to take into account all the uses for each one and which use is most useful and how much you enjoy the things they are good for. milk is good for all cereal, dunking cookies, drinking, and pouring on peoples heads. chocolate milk is good for some cereals, some cookies, drinking, but not pouring on peoples heads because you wouldn’t want to waste it because it tastes so darn good. so if you were to ask the question "which one do you like better for pouring on someone’s head?" then I would answer A. plain milk.
16. Celsius or Fahrenheit: I know fahrenheit, but celsius makes more sense. freezing point is 0. why in the heck does fahrenheit start at 32 and why in the heck do we use it when no one else does? it’s really dumb.
17. Spring or fall: spring. spring is a time for many things. including mowing the lawn, working in the garden, and sneezing. remind me again why i like spring. i really do like it though. it’s so nice.
18. History or Science: The History of Science? The Science of History? The Science of the Science of History of Science? Science.
19. Math or English: both are completely unnecessary and all text books should be burned.
20. Alternative or Country: any alternative to country is good. haha. some country is good
21. Do you like someone of the opposite sex right now? yesh.
22. Do they know? probably.
23. What do you look for in a guy or girl? i don’t look for guys. they find me. haha uh… I like girls. what I look for in a girl is… well, first off there has to be that initial attraction (hair, eyes, smile, facial features, drivers license photo) Then you get to know the person and their personality and spirituality become the most important things (although the smile and eyes will still totally stop all thought processes other than "wow"). She has to know how to have fun. She must cook and clean. hahaha just kidding about those two (the two being cook and clean… not cooking/clearning and knowing how to have fun). :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your friends

24. Who makes you laugh/smile the most? i don’t know. i smile and laugh a lot. a lot of people are so gosh darn funny. like bill clinton. he’s funny… in some way i’m sure anyway.
25. Who do you e-mail the most? i don’t know. i e-mail a lot.
26. Have you ever peed your pants in public? quite often actually. it’s called a public restroom.
27. Who’s the loudest? a lot of people are loud.
28. Who’s the shyest? bethany. hahaha
29. Whose parents do you know the best? jonathan’s
30. Who has the best room? what the heck? who cares?! it’s just a room!

——————–

Within the last 24 hours

31. Had a serious talk? not that i can remember.
32. Gotten along with your parents? yep
33. Fought with a friend? nope

———————————————————————–

Do you like to….

34. Give hugs? yesh. i do. some would say they are squishy hugs…
35. Give back rubs? i do as matter of fact. although massage would be a more appropriate word since i don’t just rub (people who have received them from me will understand that). sheesh. i also like receiving them.
36. Take walks in the rain? as long as it’s not freezing rain. it sucks to become a human icicle

———————————————————————–

Which one of your Friends:

37. Is most likely to grow up to be a model? jared (i thought it might be ammusing to throw in a guys name)
38. Which one knows most about you? jonathan and adam
39. Is most likely to become a comedian? dustin
40. Who do you know most about? jonathan and adam
41. Who will send this back? i figure a few out of the 120 I’m sending this to will send it back. then again, my predictions are always wrong.
42. Best friend? jonathan and adam
43. Is the smartest? "The Colonel" (by the way, I made that up… so if you happen to have that as a nickname… you are most welcome… especially if you are really stupid)
44. Most likely to end up in jail? Scott, Chris, or TJ. hahaha! you’re welcome for the comfort I have given thee this day. actually i would be surprised if any of my friends went to jail…
45. Friend that you’ve known the longest? Tom

———————————————————————–

Have you Ever

46. Been to a concert? Colors is the only real concert so far…
47. Bought something and then saw it cheaper somewhere else, so you returned it? nope. I, like Eilene, am more lazy than cheap.
48. Stalked someone? the camouflaged face at the window is mine

P.S. I’ve attached a fun image for your enjoyment. I swear the image was not altered in any way. it’s completely real. when sending this survey on to others, please… do not send the picture with it. ok? :)

Copyright 2001-2004 Ryan Martinsen